Bill: Alright, Keith, let me lay it out.

All you and your pals do is scream and shout.

Over at MSNBC, you guys can act like bozos,

But here, take caution, 'cause you've just entered the no-spin zone!

You better wise up, pal. For you, this won't be any fun.

You're just here to broadcast my homeruns!

You know what, you're just pathetic -- you make me depressed, you make me cry.

If you want someone who can crush you, buddy, I'm your guy.

Keith: 5,4,3,2,1

Your Countdown to destruction with Keith Olbermann has begun.

Challenging me was a really big mistake.

I'll crush you harder than you crushed Barney Frank.

Give it up, Bill! You're the worst person in the world!

After watching you all of these years, I'm surprised I haven't hurled!

Just give it up already. Join the dark side!

You can try to avoid it -- you can run, but you can't hide.

Bill: Come on, you pinhead! Stop the B.S.!

This just proves that journalism, nowadays, is a mess.

The fact that you've been fired several times isn't really stunning.

My show's been #1 for twelve years running!

I'm fair, I'm balanced, I'm the guy who you all fear.

You should leave now, I doubt you're authorized to be here.

So, here's some advice -- a little tip of the day.

Stop acting like a loon before people think you're insane!

Keith: Are you still talking, Bill?

Looks like you haven't had your fill

Of people who think you're evil.

I'll blow you away, Bill! You crazy, New Yorkian crook!

I'll blow you all the way to the back of the book!

My rhymes are stronger than my love for baseball

Your rhymes are weak, they're not strong at all.

And it doesn't matter that I'm off the air

Or whether or not I'm fair.

'Cause I ripped a holw in your fair balanced that's pretty hard to repair.


Who won? Leave your answer in a comment and the winner will be announced in the next battle.

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