Megyn: Whoa! Hold on, this is a FOX News alert!
By the time this is over, I'll make sure you've been hurt.
When it comes to supporting candidates, you've only got one strategy.
You just come right out and demonize the GOP!
You're style of reporting is so pathetic and so weak.
You wouldn't even have your own show if it wasn't for you pal, Keith!
I'm here to stop your crimes on journalism forevermore.
I'll prosecute you and sentence you to life in Kelly's Court!
Rachel: I honestly don't know how people watch you during the week.
Seriously, your whole show is one big moment of geek!
Let's see here, you're on at 1:00; I'm on at 9:00
If you ask me, I doubt your ratings even come close to mine.
I'm perfect, I'm popular, I'm little Ms. Information
I entertain far-leftists across this great nation.
Why don't you just quit already and go back to law school?
At least there you won't look like an absolute fool.
Megyn: If anyone looks like a fool, honey, you do.
I wish Phil Griffin would just go ahead and fire you.
It would do us all a favor if you would just go away
But, no, we have to watch you act like a moron for an hour a day.
And as for your stories, come on! Let's hear some real news!
You're like alarm clock chatter, and I just want to hit 'snooze'.
You're so isolated from the truth, it's like you're stuck in a hive.
There's this program that'll fill you in called America Live!
Giving you your own show was a pretty big gamble
Oh, and by the way, the constitution doesn't have a preamble!
Rachel: It looks like you just down know when you've been beat.
I'll consistently bash you like scrub, rinse, repeat.
I'm gonna knock you out to the stars. To infinity and beyond!
That should teach FOX News not hire a dumb blonde.
I criticise Bush, because somebody has to do it.
Despite the fact that when you put the blame boots on him, they don't fit.
Who cares if I'm partisan? All of my supporters still love me.
And my ratings are as high as they'll ever be.
Thanks for agreeing to battle, Megyn. It's been great.
And as for the winner, well, I'm not quite sure who won this debate.
- Who won? Tell me in a comment and the winner will be announced in the next battle.
- Winner of the previous battle: SEAN HANNITY
- Next Battle: Michelle Bachmann VS. Bill Maher