Michele: Now, listen here, Bill! Don't think that I'm not strong!

'Cause I'm a fighter. I'm not just here to go along and get along!

I'm here to win this battle, representing Waterloo, Iowa!

You've pretty much accomplished nothing. I'm a representative of Minnesota!

You and I both know that Obama can't actually lead.

The guy must have gone out and spent your million on weed!

Speaking of which, why do you think marijuana should be legal?

It sounds to me like you want to put a joint in the mouth of the bald eagle!

Bill: Listen, you dumb t***, you're politically incorrect!

You and your dumb ideas are one big pain in the neck!

Good God, lady, you have more kids than I can count.

Does anyone in your party understand the concept of pulling out?

I'm gonna bop you and Sarah Palin right on the nose!

I'll be so glad when at least one of you goes.

I've been kicking butt on TV since '93.

I think it's obvious the winner of this battle is gonna be me.

Michele: Oh, so I'm politically incorrect? Hmmm, let's see.

I'm pretty sure fantasy economics don't work in reality!

This country's running out of rich people. Pretty soon, we're both gonna be poor.

Because your guy is gonna tax us death, since he's got four more!

I've got supporters who love me to death!

In the primary, I offered real solutions to lower the debt.

Let me make something clear, Billy, don't you dare tread on me!

If you do, I'll call up all my friends in the Tea Party!

Oh, and you think mocking Republican women makes you big?

Well, that's where you're wrong, you bigotted pig!

Bill: This is real time, sister! Don't try and act like you're smart!

I hear they're having a two-for-one sale on brains down at Wal-Mart!

2012 was your last chance to get it right.

So, now, you better just go home and give up the fight.

For crying out loud! Your own birth state rejected you in the polls!

I guess that put an end to your Presidential goals.

How'd Matthews put it? You're a balloon head! You don't know anything!

And the Al Queda aren't cowards for running into a building!

And one more thing before I leave:

You actually think you're a good politician? Oh, please!


  • Who Won? Tell me in a comment and the winner will be announced in the next battle.
  • Winner of the previous battle: TIE
  • Next battle: John Boehner VS. Nancy Pelosi

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